We sat in our neighborhood group and listened to our sister in Christ convey her disappointment over an experience at church during the past couple of weeks. She has been teaching Sunday school for some time in the third grade I believe, and the person who arranges all of the teachers had called her aside and asked to speak with her. She asked our sister if she had ever become a member of the church before, to which my friend replied no. The lady then told her sadly that we have a policy that one needs to be a member of the church to teach classes, and asked her if she would place membership, my friend refused. She attended the church she went to before this one for ten years and wouldn’t place membership there, she wouldn’t do it now.
She recounted to us that there is nowhere in the Bible where membership in the church is required, that she is a follower of Christ and that’s good enough for her, she was plainly upset. What came to mind for me were several instances in the past that I have seen when a church does not go to the trouble of making sure its teachers and volunteers are on the same page. First off, let me tell you what we do, we have a simple class called “starting point” that is designed for everyone, new and mature Christians alike, or those who have not yet made the choice for Christ for that matter. In SP we go over Christianity, the plan of salvation, who Jesus was and why He came down and was sacrificed for us, what one must do to be saved. We go over what we believe and why we believe it, we provide childcare, and we feed everyone on top of it. It takes four hours on a Sunday afternoon, and it is very interesting, I went twice.
When you leave SP, there will be no confusion of what we believe, everything is spelled out very clearly, and at the end of starting point, you may turn in a membership card if you would like to become a member. There is no being baptized into our church, no proving your Christianity to the church leadership; it is merely about being on the same page. Is this important? I had some very good friends that attended for about two and a half years before going to SP, and they enjoyed the sermons, loved the music but did not get the deeper picture until they went to the class, then they kicked themselves for not going sooner.
Many people choose not to go deeper and that is okay, for we are not to judge but to love, and we embrace them and hope they will keep coming week after week until they develop a hunger to know the Lord. Membership is not required, it isn’t a social club but if you are going to teach or volunteer, that changes things. When I work in the parking lot directing traffic I wear a red “lifeguard” shirt and a name tag that identifies me as a parking lot guy. And when I work the prayer room I just wear a name tag, but to the visitor or even a regular attendee, I am a member of the staff and a code of conduct is expected, if I lose my cool and yell at a visitor who makes a wrong turn, it reflects badly on our church.
I have attended churches before where people have come in and been eager to help, and the leadership just puts them in without even getting to know them. One time a man who had been in the Mormon Church before came over to our church and began teaching the high school boys class, of which I was one. He then began teaching us his opinions rather than the bible, and there was a lot of Mormonism thrown in to it. Another example is when a woman attended our church and we were talking one time, and she stated “you know, I don’t think it really matters whether you pray to God, Buddha, Muhammad, they are all really the same aren’t they, if you are a good person that is what matters”.
It is “very” important what we say when we teach others, we are held to a higher standard when we teach. James 3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. And the elders charged with leading that church are held to a higher standard still. No one has said it more than me that the church is not the building; the church is not the assembly, or even the gathering, but all of Christ’s followers throughout the world as one. But that distinction as Christ’s own should not be something we hide behind. The Apostle Paul in his many letters to the various churches were always addressed “to the church at Corinth, Ephesus, etc… He never addressed them as “you Christians over there”, he addressed them by their association, and that was their identity. I am sure that if a group of Christians had been traveling from Ephesus and bumped into a group of Christians from Corinth, that is how they would have identified themselves, they were members of the body. Romans 12:4-5 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
I was disappointed at this situation, I think sometimes we big deal things at church that we shouldn’t. What would happen if she went to her gym and said that she wanted to pay her monthly fee, but she didn’t want the responsibility of being a member and getting a picture taken? Or what if she went to her cell-phone company and told them she didn’t like contracts, so she was going to call the shots and set the terms, I think they would both tell her to take a hike. In the end, I think we could all just learn to surrender a little bit more, don’t you think?
God Bless-JFT
The Lord taught me many years ago a simple lesson. If you are going to teach, minister or whatever to a group, you are going to have to follow their rules. Period.
Then, if you choose not to follow the group’s rules for whatever reason, you will have to teach, minister or whatever from outside the group.
To do it any other way and then complain about it is a form of rebellion and rebellion is something the Lord hates.
Wow Larry,
That’s what I love about you, you do in three short sentences what it takes me 1054 words to say. I think if we were to peel the layers of the onion and get down to the root of the rub, it would be a pride issue at it’s core. I will continue to pray about it and let it go, God knows best. Thanks for your wise answer Bro!
I love Larry Who’s comment too! My mom told me that she never became a member of the church her and her husband went to while he was alive. She would’ve had to go up front and be recognized . . .and she didn’t want to. Asking Him now where my pride is getting in the way of what He wants for me. God bless you, Jim! How’s the shoulder?
Thanks Deb,
It just seems like sometimes we are harder on our church than everyone else, and honestly, it makes me wonder why. People will go decades without becoming baptized when they want to, when they feel called to because they don’t want to answer an alter call, they don’t want to be stared at as they walk to the front. Yet they would not be driving a car if that were really the issue, would they. Because when they go to the DMV to get their tags renewed, or their license for that matter, anywhere where they have to take a number, doesn’t everyone stare at them when they get called and have to walk to the front. When it comes to church, people make excuses, people judge harshly, and it is sad, bacause it should be where our brotherhood of fellowship is. Shoulder, hmm don’t want to be a whiner, but it still hurts a bunch, pretty much 24/7. Just finished first painful week of therapy, to be honest I am ready to be out of pain for a change, I am really tired of hurting 😉
I told my neighbor if I was horse he would have to shoot me. Really, I am going to be fine, it is just a slow road, so please keep me in your prayers, because when you do I can really feel them. Thanks sis, God Bless-Jim
PS (how is Aub. doing? I saw your note about the seizures, have they settled? does she take depacote or topamax?) That is what they gave me for migraines, and they are anti-seizure meds. they seem to work well. Prayers going out for Aub. always
Jim, This is a great post. I have been in church situations where one did not have to be a member of the church to teach, and it turned out there were those who were not on the same page and the teaching was not in line with what the leadership of the church believed. It was not a good situation. While I generally think diversity of ideas is a good thing, and that in most settings you can’t and shouldn’t require everyone to share the same beliefs, your local church congregation is not one of those places – at least not where the core beliefs are concerned. Peace, Linda
Linda,
Exactly, we concur. If you think about the workplace for instance, new employee orientations are designed to get everyone thinking on the same page. Some may have worked in the field, but to others it may be brand new, and they may need to start from scratch. If you are new in the workplace, and you tell your boss that you want to be a trainer of other employees, but that you have no interest in attending orientation becaus you know what you are doing and you have no need to prove yourself to anyone. I doubt they would allow you to train, and you would probably be given an ultimatum, go to orientation or find another job. This has “nothing” to do with “religion”, but rether the church’s responsibility to make sure that those who teach speak the truth.
God Bless-Jim
If the lady in question decided not to play by the rules regarding her gym or her cell phone carrier, she could easily find another option. For me, Jim, there is always a deal breaker with church. The last church I attended (Independent Baptist) wouldn’t let me take communion because I wasn’t a member. The church before that demanded an exorcism for some of those sexual sins you wrote about in a previous post.
My attitude about church is humbug. It’s hard to stay optimistic and open minded with one bad experience after another. And yes, I went through with the exorcism. They were my only friends at the time. I wanted to belong, but instead I ran the other way.
I see your point about teachers and volunteers, and I agree with your verses. But when there are too many rules, a church becomes less cohesive.
Humbly and respectfully yours…
Still friends? Linda
Oh of course, I completely understand and agree with you, although I would love to have a few words with the exercism folks, and I would have eaten them alive. When we came to the church in the first place, I was bothered that “if we wanted to become members, there were requirements”. The thing is this though, our church has around 18,000 people every weekend. Our church is absolutely the “least” opressive church I have ever gone to, but with that many people, efforts must be made to make sure that the right things are being taught. One way to do that is to make those who teach be required to be on the same page.
Stories like yours are what make me so angry about the church that is supposed to love and heal those who seek to know Christ. People who are supposed to be leading our churches in love are guilty of abusing rather than loving the “least of these” that Jesus speaks of. That is why, as a follower of Christ, I gladly wear “His” name but I shy away from the label “religious”. Who has the power to exercise or the need for that matter, is there something that a simple dialogue with God is no longer effective for, that you must exercise someone. Makes me want to hand em a stone and say “you who are without sin………”. I am sorry for what you have had to go through, I wish you had our church to visit, although it is big, I bet you would feel at home and just love it. Anyway, God Bless-Jim
Thanks, Jim. From all that you’ve shared about your church, I bet I would love it there, too.
It’s taken four years of therapy with a beautiful Christian social worker to realize that I was a victim of “spiritual abuse” and that when Jesus died on the cross, the curtain tore and gave us access to God through prayer. You’re right. There was no one I needed to turn to but Him. Had I not been a brand new Christian I would have known better.
I’m finally at a place where I don’t think about it every day. And I know that someday I’ll be ready to start over at the right church for me. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. It gives me some hopeful and positive things to consider today! Hugs… : )
I am so glad you were able to get past that and not run screaming from God and all of His people after your experiences with us. The class I am taking now is teaching how to deal with those who are in crisis or trauma, how to help them and counsel them effectively in a Christian manner and help them heal. I was not aware that there is actually a classification for those who “harm” those they are supposed to be helping to heal. They are called “re-wounders”, when someone has gone through a hard time, crisis or trauma and is seeking help, and you subject them to what “you” were subjected to, that is called re-wounding. I was surprised to find that it is so common. If you look at it in simple terms, it is tantamount to the bully beating up on the little kid on the playground. You were the new Christian, young in the faith, not yet educated, and feeling as though the re-wounders were the wiser “father knows best” Christians. You trusted them, they violated that trust, they abused you and because you knew no better you withstood it and were wounded deeper still. I run into people all the time who have been wounded by the uber religious at one time or other in their lives. They are so deeply scarred they will not even consider hearing what you have to say most of the time, it breaks my heart! AND MAKES ME ANGRY >=-(
Glad you were strong and stayed with the Lord, He must have some really big plans for you! God Bless-Jim