I could not wait to get behind the wheel of the new (well, new to me) four wheel drive pickup I had decided to buy. I had made the decision after test driving it a few minutes ago. Now all I had to do was tell dad, not ask, but tell, after all, I was nineteen. He and Mom were out working in the yard as I told him about the truck and watched his expression change from curious to furious. You already have a truck son, he said. He had purchased an older truck for me about a year ago, as a gift for graduating high school. I know dad, but this is four wheel drive, newer and has a killer stereo (bad choice). His reply “Son, you are NOT getting a new truck, the one you have is fine, now that’s final”.
As I walked away, I said over my shoulder “oh yes I am” and got into my truck and drove away. Only later would I realize that a prediction from an older mentor had just come true.
Bo Richason was an old cowboy, he taught a teenaged boys class at church. We all loved the old guy because he was wise beyond his years, and he was not our dad. We all loved our dads, but it was a time in our lives where we didn’t listen to them sadly, so Bo we would listen to. He said “Boys, you are all gonna buck your dads sooner or later, it is a part of life, it has been happening since the beginning of time, you aint gonna be no different. When you buck your dad, you will be turning a corner in your life that you can’t come back from”. Bo told us many things about life that we will never forget, and I may discuss some of them later, but this one always stuck with me. I bought that truck, I sold the one my dad gave me, and I wouldn’t regret it for at least a decade. But I did regret it, not so much the truck, but the “bucking” that led to it.
From the time we turn about fifteen, until we are at least twenty five to thirty, we are uber eager to shed our innocence and take on all the perks of manhood/womanhood. Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to regain that lost innocence. I cannot tell you how many thirty to forty year old men and women I have met who have had a wake of failure in their past,and that they would give anything for a do-over. But sadly, the do-over doesn’t exist, but the innocence can return, in the form of forgiveness. Consider the story of the prodigal son. I won’t post it as it is a long story, but it is here, Luke 15:11-32
Young man wants to party, says hey dad, I want my money now. Dad says okay, and gives him his percentage of inheritance. Young man leaves home, parties hard, then parties some more, and then goes broke. Applies for jobs, only one hiring is a pig farm, looking for slopping engineers, so he takes it. Begins to envy how well the pigs are eating and then thinks, hey my dad has servants that have food left over, maybe dad will hire me, forget this. He heads for home, ready to slave out to dad, but as he gets near, his dad is out watering the lawn and sees him coming. Dad is running towards him, arms spread, crying. He embraces young man, instantly has new clothes and jewelry brought out, says my son was dead and now is alive. Kind of reminds you of the lost sheep to the Shepherd.
Our kids will buck us, but we need to receive them back like the Lord receives us back. God made us the way we are for a reason, it is easier to cut the apron strings on someone who is defiant than someone who is calm and meek. I believe it is the “God Design” that makes us this way. So the next time you want to choke your teenager, or the next time you have a chance to forgive them, remember the prodigal as an example.
God Bless and Keep You-Always
JFT
You have no idea how much this spoke to me, so I’ll tell you. It really spoke to me!!! 🙂 It has not been easy with my oldest. Still isn’t in many ways. The relationship is not what I would want it to be, what I long for with my mother’s heart. And it’s so easy to beat myself up over it. So, this really helps and I’ll keep forgiving and asking for forgiveness too! God bless you! deb
Deb,
I completely understand, I have two that are grown, and two that are teens right now. when going through this hard time, you just wait for it to come full circle again. God Bless
Jim
Jim,
I know I’m also going there with my child in few years…and it is scary…Looking back, I know that I have failed in my life too…how many times have I disobeyed my parents???I wish I could have done it better…But as you said, we may not get the chances to re do the things that we have failed…but we are given the forgiveness…from our parents and from our Lord and we should learn to do the same with our kids…
Thank you brother..
God Bless,
Rani
Rani,
We all fail, and we all anger our parents, but our Heavenly Father welcomes us back with open arms. As earthly parents, we just need to use that as an example of how we welcome our kids back. God Bless
Jim
Jim, I’ll keep this in mind when the 9th grade report card arrives in the mail in a few weeks. I fairly certain I won’t see the straight As I got in high school; just hoping there won’t be any Ds. Peace, Linda
Linda,
Here’s to hoping for A’s on the report card, and if it isn’t A’s, then B’s. I am excited about the book, that will be so cool, you really had a great idea and if it leads to others being encouraged, all the better. God Bless
Jim
Jim, There will be As – in P.E. and Weightlifting – which quite frankly surprises me, too, because he’s never been terribly athletic. Finals are this week and studying for them has not been much a priority, but I’ve been praying that the Holy Spirit will help him remember what he has learned over the semester and be able to translate that to correct answers on his finals.
I’m excited about the book, too. I’ve heard back from 4 of you so far, and will send a follow-up email when I get home from work today.
If you want to check out Ben’s blog, it is linked in my blogroll, called Justified Freely.
Peace, Linda
Linda,
I will definantly check Ben’s blog out, I have never read it before. As for the grades, I think the PE and weightlifting is a boy thing, I was the same way. Seeing as I have all girls it is different with them. They score in chior and things like that. I am sure he will be fine. Hang in there and don’t worry too much, these things always seem to work out. God Bless
Jim