The One Who Loved Jesus

Authors note: Hello, I don’t do reposts often, but I originally wrote and posted this last July. For some reason, this post, which of course is fiction based on fact has taken on a life of its own. It has by far been the most popular post I have ever written, itself getting 700 hits a week on average even now. I don’t know what makes it as popular as it is, other than it is a possible insight into Jesus and His disciples, but I decided I would repost it since people seem to like it so much. As always, God bless you all!

The hoopla and fanfare was all over now, it was now just a waiting game, and he was alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t lie, he was terrified as he was arrested and brought before Nero, who had publicly announced that he was the enemy of God. But he knew that it was all going to be fine, he knew the ending.

He thought back to the time when the Man he loved had been arrested. Prior to the arrest, The Master had foretold of Peter’s denial, and Peter had been offended, no way, there is just no way that will ever happen. Yet when that stupid rooster crowed, Peter realized what he had done. The hurt on Jesus face as those he had given so much to forsook him; it was almost more than he could bear.

Peter then realized he had begun to drool, and it had gotten in his eyes. He opened his eyes wider and looked around, there was blood pooling on the ground from the nails in his wrists, and he could see the legs of a few soldiers around, everyone else had gone.

He remembered the kindness the master had shown everyone, loving to a fault. Healing the sick, casting out demons, even raising the dead. He came bearing a message of salvation and grace, freedom from the old law, preaching a gospel of love. He had never hurt anyone, he had only loved, healed, and instructed, yet they killed Him. Not only killed, but humiliated Him first. He remembered the Savior hanging there on the cross, the Son of God, the Messiah. Sin and evil had ruled that day as the only perfect Man ever to walk the earth was nailed to the cross.

Peter hung there in anguish, remembering the suffering the Rabbi was made to endure, and the pain on his face. What made matters worse, Peter was always a hothead, and when Jesus had tried to explain that the prophesies needed to be fulfilled through His death, Peter has stood up proudly and said “never Lord, this shall never happen to you”. Peter was implying that Jesus would be crucified over his dead body, he would be Jesus’ defender. Jesus had then called Peter Satan, and said get behind me, clearly annoyed at Peters macho blustering. As Peter thought of this, Tears welled in to his eyes, and then rolled down his forehead into his hair.

He thought of his last huge failure, when they came to arrest Jesus, and he drew his sword and lopped off that soldier’s ear. Again, Peter saw the disappointment in Jesus as he turned and told him to sheath his sword. Then, in a way only Jesus had about him, He actually picked up the guards ear and placed it back where it had come from, He healed the guard. Even during His arrest, He had still found a way to do another miracle, He had healed the very one who was persecuting Him.

He reflected on the cross, the agony that Jesus went through, bearing not only His own weight, but also the burden of sin for all those who would choose to become His followers for thousands of years. He bore the burden of murder, adultery, hate, lust, cheating, lying and the list goes on. His perfect soul, cluttered with all that filth he was bearing for us. Jesus had known and understood, but Peter hadn’t. He remembered Jesus battered body hanging there, after he had committed His Spirit into His Fathers hands. What a horrible final mental picture in his mind. But, it didn’t end there, He rose from that tomb.

He spent time with His disciples after he had risen from the dead, they talked about a great many things. But Peter still carried the anguish of letting Jesus down so many times. Jesus had known about Peter’s anguish, and the pain it caused Peter from the guilt. But Jesus knew, and now so did Peter, that the anguish and guilt were needed to complete Peter into being the “Rock” that Jesus knew Peter was destined to be. The mental picture Peter had of Jesus that meant the most was of that time Jesus had prepared breakfast for them on the beach, after he had returned from the dead. He cooked them a meal of fresh fish over a fire, and then talked quietly to Peter.  “do you love me” he had asked, when Peter said yes, Jesus responded “then feed my lambs”. . Jesus asked Peter two more times the same question, and Peter answered the same, to which Jesus responded “then feed and take care of my sheep”, a reference to Peters future ministry. He then foretold Peter that he would face the cross also, and that his death would glorify God.

He knew the end was nearing, the pain was terrible at first, but he was becoming numb now. He could hear the soldiers laughing and making jokes as he and the others hung on the crosses up on this hill, how could anyone be jovial while surrounded by such suffering and death. Anyway, it now all made sense, when He had asked Peter three times “do you love me”, it had at first hurt Peter’s feelings, but now he understood. Jesus was letting Peter know that He knew how much Peter loved Him. Peter affirmed his love for Jesus three times, Jesus was telling Peter it was okay to forgive himself for denying his Master three times, He was telling Peter to cut himself some slack, he was forgiven. The love on His face that day on the beach is how Peter would forever remember Jesus.  More than sixty years had passed since that day.

When Peter was led to the top of the hill, before the soldiers began their grim work, they asked if Peter had any last requests. Peter then said “I do”, I would like you to crucify me upside down. The soldier’s jaws dropped, and they asked why anyone would wish for that. “Because I am unworthy to die in the same manner of my Lord”. They looked at one another, then said “whatever” and began their work.

As his vision began to blur at the edges, he realized there was no more pain, looking to the right, the left, he realized the blood puddles were large now, he was bleeding out. No longer distracted by the pain, he began to wonder how it would happen, would he go to Heaven immediately, would he have to face judgment first, would he be met and guided for the final leg of the journey, he didn’t know. For a moment, his vision cleared, and he noticed a pair of feet in sandals standing before his face. He strained to look up, it was so hard at this point, but he did, and then he knew. It was Him, He had come, Jesus stood before him, tears streaming down his cheeks. In the blink of an eye, they were embracing one another as they both cried. It was then that Peter realized it was finished, the cross was gone, and Jesus smiled and said, “well done Peter, well done”.

God Bless-JFT

This Story is fiction, but is based on facts.