Chosen or Forsaken?

“God will never give you more than you can handle”. How many times have you heard that phrase before, or used it for that matter? I will be honest, I have never liked it because I think it is meant to give us false comfort in thinking the threshold of our endurance must be close, because after all, we are about at our snapping point, right?

Abraham was a favorite of Gods, there was no doubt that God loved Abraham, but Abraham must have been wondering what was going on. God told him he was going to be a daddy with his wife Sarah at a hundred after a lifetime of barrenness, only then to command Abraham to kill that much cherished son on the altar of sacrifice. I would imagine Abraham was grieved beyond what he could handle as he tied Isaac to the altar and raised the knife above him.

Jacob was chosen by God for a big task, he was going to be the father of the nation of Israel, he would become Israel. His life was not easy though, he was deceived by his father in law Laban much in the same way he had deceived his father Isaac to steal his birthright. He had heartbreak as his daughter was raped, then his sons slaughtered a whole community of men. Then his dear son Joseph went missing and it looked as though he had been killed by a vicious animal. He grieved bitterly, and life was never the same, then there was a plague in the land and all was nearly lost, his family could no longer even feed itself, he needed to send his sons to Egypt to buy food. He watched them ride off and he wondered where the blessing God had promised was, he didn’t feel very chosen right now.

Moses had seen God more times than he could remember, first in that strange bush that burned yet was not consumed, that is when he first knew he had been chosen. God had spoken to him many times since, in the form of a pillar of a cloud or a pillar of fire, or even in the evenings when he went out of the settlement to his own tent and the pillar of cloud settled at his door. God would converse with him, giving him guidance, telling him what to do, building him up when he was discouraged. Then, the days up on the mountain receiving the law and the commandments, he had seen God, until after he had gone down and found his people in debauchery. Moses had been so stunned by what he found that he dropped the commandments that God had carved in stone with his fingers, breaking them. God was really mad, he wanted to kill them all, and Moses told God to kill him instead because he was their leader. God relented, God showed mercy, but there was a price, Moses would no longer be able to see Gods face from now on. Moses looked out at these people, led from Egypt through the Red Sea on dry ground, their pursuer Pharaoh and his men slain. They complained about food, so they were fed manna from heaven and quail, everything they needed always provided, yet they whined and complained constantly. Moses did not feel chosen most of the time.

David thought back to the day that he was tending sheep and his dad had sent word for him to come home now. He got back wondering what was up only to find the old priest Samuel waiting with a horn, as David approached, the priest said, “he is the one” and began to anoint him with oil from the horn. He was told that he was chosen by God to lead Israel. He would face lions, bears, and then the giant Goliath, killing them all. He could feel the power of God protecting him, putting him where he needed to be in the kingdom. He was eventually even assigned to work with the King, and the king loved him dearly, that is until he began to try to kill him. David had gone on the run, and been chased by King Saul and his men, determined to kill him. David had run until he had become half crazy, and was at his wits end, now here he stood in the dark with a dagger in his hand and his master and nemesis before him. The king didn’t know David was close enough to cut his throat as he relieved himself, But David knew it wasn’t time, so he was satisfied with taking a trophy, a piece of the royal robe as proof. King David would be a great ruler never to be forgotten in the history of the world, a true man of God. But he probably didn’t feel very chosen as he stood at the back of the dark stuffy cave watching Saul and his men go to the bathroom, he probably felt cursed.

The stories continue in the same pattern, disciples, Apostles, Jesus, etc… People are chosen to do Gods work and that is when the going really gets tough. God uses the hard times to condition us for the task ahead; a battle tested warrior is always a better leader. So be careful with that phrase God will never give you more than you can handle. God Bless-JFT

Matthew 10:34  “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword”.

Two Sides To Every Story

I had a dream that I am going to be your boss one day, the cocky young man said to us as we all stood silently, our jaws falling open at the flagrant hubris the young buck displayed, neglecting the many years of experience before him. The silence only hung in the air for a short time before the angry retorts began to fly back at him, some of the men cursing and chastising him, but the message was clear, over our dead bodies.

He was the new guy, barely on the job for a year now, but the boss had taken a shine to this youngster, a yes man who was willing to do anything to get ahead. Many of us had been working hard for the boss for decades now and were beginning to show our years of hard labor. There was always a hope that when a position came open as a Forman or supervisor, the fruits of our labor might place us in line for it, but this young punk and the boss’ obvious affection for him was making it clear that would not happen.

An alliance against the youth began to form, even though we all wanted to be promoted, we would understand if one of us was promoted above the other, but not him, anyone but him. We began to plot ways to bring his downfall. The boss had begun to not trust us either, and the boy was starting to spy on us too, sneaking around on us while we were out in the field, taking notes on us and reporting back to the boss. We would come in from a hard day’s work, and the boss would be waiting for us, he would then question us on what we had been doing all day. The boss that we looked up to, the man we had honored for so many years was now becoming our enemy and busting our chops, something had to change.

One day, as we were hard at our labor out in the field, we caught sight of the little sneak nosing around and spying on us. The place we were working that day happened to have an empty well, and so we threw the boy in there in our anger to be rid of him. As the reality of our actions set in we began to pace nervously, we hadn’t wanted to kill him really, we just wanted him to leave us alone, stop throwing us under the bus with the boss all the time. We edged over to the rim and looked down, thank God he was alive. We hoisted him out of the hole and dusted him off, but he was really angry with us, and he began to tell us all that the boss was going to do when he got back and reported this little incident. We had no choice; we tied him up and took his jacket from him. We tore it up and dipped it in some blood, then made up a story about how we had found it this way and suspected a wild animal had attacked him. Just then, a band of travelers headed for a faraway land neared, and we offered to sell the boy to them cheaply if they would promise to take him far away and sell him again once they got there. They promptly agreed.

Dread filled our souls as we headed back to our homeland, knowing what we had to tell the boss, that his prized worker would not be returning, and then showing him the jacket that had been torn. We would see his anguish and pain at knowing that not only his favorite worker, but his favorite son was dead and gone forever, never to return. All ten of us were complicit in a horrible secret now too, all of us knew that we were lying to our dad, we would forever have that wedge between our father and us, every time he brought Joseph up and began to talk sadly about his death and how much he missed our brother since his passing, we knew the truth, we had sold him off cheaply to a band of drifters.

When we would all be together out in the fields away from prying ears is the only time we could ever talk about it. “It was the only thing we could have done” said Judah as Rueben countered “don’t drag me into that, I told you not to do it, and you did it anyway while I was gone, I wash my hands of the whole bunch of you”. The brothers who used to be so close began to argue more and more these days, and it seemed that happiness eluded our families as the months turned into years. God would surely deal harshly with us for what we had done to our own flesh and blood, we should have given him time to grow out of his foolishness before we acted, maybe embraced him before pushing him away.

Our lives became haunted ones, hiding a horrible secret from all but each other. Eventually even our crops became cursed and we could no longer support even our own families. Dad called us all together and told us there was food in a faraway land called Egypt for sale, and that we should go and buy some. Surely this was the beginning of the end, God was going to pay us back for the evil we had done so many years ago to our brother. We packed up our camels and set off toward Egypt and an uncertain future.

I have always looked at the story of Joseph from Joseph’s eyes, and thought of his brothers as horrible wretched people for doing what they did to him. In this writing I decided to try to look at it from their eyes and see things from their perspective, being second to a favored son.

God Bless-JFT

This story is fiction based on scripture.

An Uncommon Meeting

He was restless as he thought about the last leg of his journey into hostile lands. He didn’t know how he was going to be received by the lord of the land he was entering, they hadn’t left on the greatest of terms when they had last parted. As he sent the last of the caravan across the river just before sunrise, a brawny dark figure walked toward him on the grass of the riverbank.

“You worry too much old man, stop being such a pansy” he scoffed at Jake as he took his shirt off and playfully began to circle Jake on the grass. Jake stared at the man’s powerful body and dark leathery skin as he became aware of a proffered wrestling match and he too removed his shirt, just the two men alone on the grass by the river. The man lunged at Jake powerfully and Jake slapped him away feigning right, grabbing his opponents’ ankle and tripping him. The powerful man went down hard but sprang up quickly as Jake hit him midsection and they both tumbled to the ground.

They twisted and turned on the grass, grunting and groaning as one, then the other gained the upper hand in the match. The large man put Jake in a headlock and told him to say uncle, but Jake then threw sand in the big man’s face and flipped him over, freeing himself from the headlock. Jake threw his legs around the big man’s neck and placed him in a scissor hold, then said with a grin “I’ll cut you loose if you say uncle, haha”. It was almost daybreak, and the man realized he coundn’t beat Jake, so he said let’s stop. Jake smiled and said “only if you bless me” Jake’s smile was cut short though, the big man reached around with his powerful hands and placed his hand on Jakes hipbone. He then grabbed it in such a way that bright light of pain burst before his vision, then he smacked it with his knuckle and Jake lost all control of his legs and released his large adversary. Jake lay on the grass holding his hipbone and rocking back and forth on the grass in pain.

The big man stood, “what’s your name then he asked”? Jacob he said as he got to his feet unsteadily again. Well Jacob, you will now have a new name, you will be called Israel, because you have struggled with God and humans, and have overcome. The big man blessed Jacob there, and then left, and Jacob named that place as a monument because he had seen God face to face and yet his life was spared.

As Jacob went on ahead in his journey to meet the lord of the land of his birth, his brother Esau, a man he had cheated out of his birthright, he still feared that his brother would not want to see him, would maybe want to kill him on sight. But he had amends to make regardless of the consequences, so he forged on. His scouts told him that his brother was headed toward them also, with four hundred of his men. Jacob feared what this might mean, but what really was there to fear, he had just wrestled on the grass with the Creator of the heavens and the earth, that had to mean something. Why would He do that, why would God come down and choose to playfully wrestle with him, It had to be that He wanted Jake to loosen up, and that message about struggling with God and humans, and overcoming. If Jake was heading into his death God would not have bothered to come down and given him such a message of strength and courage. And why didn’t God “have” to win the wrestling match, in the end, if a winner had to be chosen, it would have gone to Jake, not God, had God not smacked his hipbone in that strange way Jake would have never let go. Again, a message of strength and encouragement.

As the sun rose high in the sky and Jake could see the dust from the horses of Esau and his men coming, his feelings of trepidation receded more, he knew it was going to be a good day. God Bless-JFT

This story is fiction, while based on Genesis 32

The One Who Loved Jesus

Authors note: Hello, I don’t do reposts often, but I originally wrote and posted this last July. For some reason, this post, which of course is fiction based on fact has taken on a life of its own. It has by far been the most popular post I have ever written, itself getting 700 hits a week on average even now. I don’t know what makes it as popular as it is, other than it is a possible insight into Jesus and His disciples, but I decided I would repost it since people seem to like it so much. As always, God bless you all!

The hoopla and fanfare was all over now, it was now just a waiting game, and he was alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t lie, he was terrified as he was arrested and brought before Nero, who had publicly announced that he was the enemy of God. But he knew that it was all going to be fine, he knew the ending.

He thought back to the time when the Man he loved had been arrested. Prior to the arrest, The Master had foretold of Peter’s denial, and Peter had been offended, no way, there is just no way that will ever happen. Yet when that stupid rooster crowed, Peter realized what he had done. The hurt on Jesus face as those he had given so much to forsook him; it was almost more than he could bear.

Peter then realized he had begun to drool, and it had gotten in his eyes. He opened his eyes wider and looked around, there was blood pooling on the ground from the nails in his wrists, and he could see the legs of a few soldiers around, everyone else had gone.

He remembered the kindness the master had shown everyone, loving to a fault. Healing the sick, casting out demons, even raising the dead. He came bearing a message of salvation and grace, freedom from the old law, preaching a gospel of love. He had never hurt anyone, he had only loved, healed, and instructed, yet they killed Him. Not only killed, but humiliated Him first. He remembered the Savior hanging there on the cross, the Son of God, the Messiah. Sin and evil had ruled that day as the only perfect Man ever to walk the earth was nailed to the cross.

Peter hung there in anguish, remembering the suffering the Rabbi was made to endure, and the pain on his face. What made matters worse, Peter was always a hothead, and when Jesus had tried to explain that the prophesies needed to be fulfilled through His death, Peter has stood up proudly and said “never Lord, this shall never happen to you”. Peter was implying that Jesus would be crucified over his dead body, he would be Jesus’ defender. Jesus had then called Peter Satan, and said get behind me, clearly annoyed at Peters macho blustering. As Peter thought of this, Tears welled in to his eyes, and then rolled down his forehead into his hair.

He thought of his last huge failure, when they came to arrest Jesus, and he drew his sword and lopped off that soldier’s ear. Again, Peter saw the disappointment in Jesus as he turned and told him to sheath his sword. Then, in a way only Jesus had about him, He actually picked up the guards ear and placed it back where it had come from, He healed the guard. Even during His arrest, He had still found a way to do another miracle, He had healed the very one who was persecuting Him.

He reflected on the cross, the agony that Jesus went through, bearing not only His own weight, but also the burden of sin for all those who would choose to become His followers for thousands of years. He bore the burden of murder, adultery, hate, lust, cheating, lying and the list goes on. His perfect soul, cluttered with all that filth he was bearing for us. Jesus had known and understood, but Peter hadn’t. He remembered Jesus battered body hanging there, after he had committed His Spirit into His Fathers hands. What a horrible final mental picture in his mind. But, it didn’t end there, He rose from that tomb.

He spent time with His disciples after he had risen from the dead, they talked about a great many things. But Peter still carried the anguish of letting Jesus down so many times. Jesus had known about Peter’s anguish, and the pain it caused Peter from the guilt. But Jesus knew, and now so did Peter, that the anguish and guilt were needed to complete Peter into being the “Rock” that Jesus knew Peter was destined to be. The mental picture Peter had of Jesus that meant the most was of that time Jesus had prepared breakfast for them on the beach, after he had returned from the dead. He cooked them a meal of fresh fish over a fire, and then talked quietly to Peter.  “do you love me” he had asked, when Peter said yes, Jesus responded “then feed my lambs”. . Jesus asked Peter two more times the same question, and Peter answered the same, to which Jesus responded “then feed and take care of my sheep”, a reference to Peters future ministry. He then foretold Peter that he would face the cross also, and that his death would glorify God.

He knew the end was nearing, the pain was terrible at first, but he was becoming numb now. He could hear the soldiers laughing and making jokes as he and the others hung on the crosses up on this hill, how could anyone be jovial while surrounded by such suffering and death. Anyway, it now all made sense, when He had asked Peter three times “do you love me”, it had at first hurt Peter’s feelings, but now he understood. Jesus was letting Peter know that He knew how much Peter loved Him. Peter affirmed his love for Jesus three times, Jesus was telling Peter it was okay to forgive himself for denying his Master three times, He was telling Peter to cut himself some slack, he was forgiven. The love on His face that day on the beach is how Peter would forever remember Jesus.  More than sixty years had passed since that day.

When Peter was led to the top of the hill, before the soldiers began their grim work, they asked if Peter had any last requests. Peter then said “I do”, I would like you to crucify me upside down. The soldier’s jaws dropped, and they asked why anyone would wish for that. “Because I am unworthy to die in the same manner of my Lord”. They looked at one another, then said “whatever” and began their work.

As his vision began to blur at the edges, he realized there was no more pain, looking to the right, the left, he realized the blood puddles were large now, he was bleeding out. No longer distracted by the pain, he began to wonder how it would happen, would he go to Heaven immediately, would he have to face judgment first, would he be met and guided for the final leg of the journey, he didn’t know. For a moment, his vision cleared, and he noticed a pair of feet in sandals standing before his face. He strained to look up, it was so hard at this point, but he did, and then he knew. It was Him, He had come, Jesus stood before him, tears streaming down his cheeks. In the blink of an eye, they were embracing one another as they both cried. It was then that Peter realized it was finished, the cross was gone, and Jesus smiled and said, “well done Peter, well done”.

God Bless-JFT

This Story is fiction, but is based on facts.

I Resolve

2012, a time when many people throughout the world examine the previous year and look to the coming one. Upon doing so, they see in hindsight many places where they wish they had done better, so along comes the inevitable “new years resolution”. New years resolutions in many cases involve weight loss and or a promise of regular exercise in the year to come. In other instances, people will set hard goals such as getting a new job by the end of the year, moving into a house “of our own” by years end. All it requires is a little elbow grease, determination, discipline, and taking the bull by the horns, right?

Discipline is a trait to be sought after always, elbow grease is always something that has worked well for me too, and a dogged determination has helped me to excel in the business world to a place where I was able to provide well for my family. But determination and taking the bull by the horns have a dark and selfish side to them also, and have probably set me back in life more than they have advanced me.

I will just tell you, I am not a fan of making new years resolutions, when I was younger I made them and failed at them. As I grew older, I stuck with them longer and got wiser about not making big lists and setting unachievable goals, but the truth is, I do not make them these days, and don’t intend to start, at least not in the “usual” sense. When I decided to stop using tobacco, it was on January 8^th, and it had nothing to do with the New Year, when I decided to lose weight and exercise regularly, it was just because I knew I needed to do it. Now don’t get me wrong here folks, I am not saying my way is “the” way, it is just the way that works best for me. If a new years resolution works best for you, and you are able to accomplish things in that manner, God bless you, it just has never worked for me.

One of the things that I noticed about all of the new years resolutions I used to make is that they were usually all centered around me. Let me give you an example, if I want to lose weight it means I am not happy with how I look or my eating habits, “I” want to have better control over that part of my life, get the weight off and be in control of myself. By resolving to begin a regular exercise regimen, “I” wanted to be more disciplined in that part of my life, to have consistency to the point to where I would work out daily and be athletic and tone because I wanted to look good and be in better control of that part of my life. The same with what I used to call my career, “I” wanted to be in control of my career path, to be in constant upward movement, because if I stalled in a position, then I would grow stale right. A good employee in corporate America always has his head tilted slightly up right, looking at the next rung?

Yes, I did underline them, the words control because my new years resolutions were always about me gaining a little bit more control in my life each year. I am so thankful that God has seen fit to reveal to me this truth the way He has, because I never realized it until He did. I no longer feel I have a career nor care about having one, I just have a job that I have been working at for 22 years, and am blessed that it provides for my family. I don’t care about ever moving up anymore, and I actually don’t care if I move down one day, as long as it is where God wants me, I am fine with it.

So, here is where I am at, 2011 was an action packed year. In late February or early March (not sure which) it was discovered that I had a stroke. I had come down with a severe migraine headache that lasted 9 days, and on the 9^th day, my Dr. sent me in for a brain MRI and discovered the stroke purely by accident. It had already occurred, and whatever damage had occurred was irreversible by this point because it was “acute”. The neurologist ran many tests, and was happy to report that there seemed to be no effects that he could find and he even referred to it as a miracle. My new motto became “if a part of your brain is going to die, it might as well be a part that doesn’t do anything”. The stroke was ruled a stress stroke, as my arteries were clear. I made a decision then I was going to make some changes in my life, that is when I began hardcore mountain biking 4-5 times a week, and changed my diet. I lost 60# and many of my health problems went away, but the difference this time was I really just put everything in God’s hands. Instead of going “on” a diet, I just stopped eating about four or five of my favorite foods, and prayed to God for strength. I prayed for God to do with me as he would like, and He transformed my health.

The migraines would become a way of life for me, called “cluster” headaches, they usually linger in mind numbing pain for a week or so, and daily medication is the only thing that keeps them away. But during these headaches, I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit like at no other time in my life; it is as though He carries me through them. 2011 brought a lot of personal growth for myself and my family with God; I went back to college in the fall, taking biblical studies. It was a huge step for me, and I am blessed and happy to be able to do this, I am continuing in the spring also. My brother was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gering’s disease) this past fall, and then in November, the fine Dr’s at Mayo Clinic Scottsdale were no longer able to find his disease, so his 3-5 year death sentence was returned to a normal lifespan, the Dr. just shrugged his shoulders and said he couldn’t explain it, but we could, it was clearly God working behind the scenes.  The year ended with my second oldest daughter graduating from college and finding a wonderful job in Dallas, just down the street from where her older sister lives, so at least my girls are together. Seasoned with trials and pain, all in all the year was wonderful in all of its blessings.

So if I had to say what I resolve to do in 2012, it would be this. I want to spend more time this coming year than I ever have before talking to people about the Lord. I want to care less about the material things of this world in the coming year, and more about the people in it. I would like to be a better husband, father, son, brother and friend than I ever have been before in the coming year. I want to man the controls of my life less while still being disciplined, yet turn the power of control over to God more and more, I want my will to be His will daily. And lastly, I suppose it would be that it “does” matter what other people think about us, it matters that when they see us, they see Godly men and women of character and love. These are not resolutions for 2012, but goals I have for coming closer to God and doing his work not only this year, but for how ever many more there are that lie ahead. God Bless-JFT

Our World is A Miracle

I drove into the city in the late afternoon the day before New Years Eve. A thick layer of smog covered the bottom of the mountains, leaving only the peaks exposed. This happens sometimes here in the winter, today it is worse than I have seen in many years, you can smell it. Traffic is crawling up the freeway as I begin to get a headache, thinking about the twelve-hour shift that I am about to work. As I look out at the six lanes of traffic packed wall to wall on my side, heading into the city and the six lanes of traffic packed wall to wall of cars trying to leave, I am baffled by a thought for a moment.

Earlier in the week, I was bored and was watching a show on TV, the 40 greatest one hit wonders of the 90’s. Not really my genre, more late 70’s and 80’s for me, but I still knew quite a few of them. There was a particular song that was featured that I remembered I thought was taboo back then, and still do not care for today although it was very popular. It was titled “what if God was one of us”, and the thought is basically what if He were a slob like one of us trying to make his way home. I always thought the song was disrespectful of God, and is not even a novel idea, seeing as how God did in fact lower Himself down to our level and make Himself “one of us” trying to make his way home.

As I sat in my truck and looked out at all of these people preoccupied with their lives, trying to get from here to there, it reminded me briefly of an ant city and all of the worker ants moving about. As I continued to drive on, I could not help but wonder though, how could God possibly care about each and every one of these people on a personal level, how could God know their hurts and their triumphs? How is it possible for Jesus Christ to have a personal relationship with each and every one of them? Now I know, you are probably saying, Jesus “doesn’t” have a personal relationship with all of them, and I agree with you on that, but that is not Jesus fault, it is the fault of the person. Jesus “does” know their heart. I believe that God knows everyone’s heart too, whether they choose to give it to Him or not.

So, back to the traffic jam, I am looking at all of these people going about their lives and doing as they wish. That alone is staggering, knowing that I live in the fifth largest city in the nation, there are literally hundreds of traffic jams worldwide, thousands of malls and marketplaces where people scurry about preoccupied with life and trying to make ends meet. When you stop and think about how many people we have on this earth, “the last time I checked it was seven billion and change” I am baffled by the sheer immensity of it all and left to wonder, how does God do it? How does He care about each and every one of us as he does? Our minds are clearly not designed to understand math like that.

As I looked out the windshield and continued my deep thought, something came to mind. The other day as I was preparing my blog on Jonah, In Jonah 4:11, When God was speaking to Jonah for the last recorded time, He said  “ And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”

120,000 + animals. That is a large number by anyone’s standard, even back then, God was personally involved in the lives of that many folks. Now you may say 120K cannot be compared to the large numbers of which I am speaking, and I will gladly concur. But 120K is still a big number, what if I said you made 120k in a year, maybe many of you do and so you would smile and say “still not that big of a number”. So let’s put it this way, what if I said you owed the IRS 120K in back income taxes, how’s that, oh wait, now the number seems a bit bigger huh, I see

God cared deeply about each and every one of them, and he knew how terribly lost they were and it ached His heart to think about laying waste to them for their wickedness, He just knew there was a better way, even if it lie in a hard headed angry old coot named Jonah. Another thing to pay close attention to here “us animal lovers”, God took the time to include them in His explanation to Jonah. While I know He placed some of them here to serve as sustenance for us, He also gifted them with the personalities to be “man’s best friend”. Nothing in creation was an accident, God crafted the plume on the quail’s head with care, He made the antlers on a bull elk’s head majestic, He gave the timber wolf beautiful yet penetrating eyes for a reason, and He made the Grizzly bear the baddest dude in the forest indisputably. Everything God made has His personal touch. There is a reason we look different from any other living thing on the planet, we were set apart, we were made in His image. He took more time with us, He crafted our brain different, and He gave us something that He gave no other living creation, the ability to reason. When I stop being consumed with myself for a few minutes and actually start considering all that God has already done, I know it isn’t really that unbelievable to think he’s capable of knowing the heart of 7 billion people, after all, He constructed them.

And besides, 120k is small potatoes, God sent Moses on a similar rescue mission sans large fish way back in Exodus, except there were only 600k fighting age men and women (sorry ladies, they didn’t count everyone then), but estimates have the Hebrew/Israelite exodus at 2.5-4 million give or take a few. One thing to note also, God was way more involved “daily” with these folks than He was with those Ninevites. They were actually pretty low maintenance when compared with the Israelites.

Looking out through my windshield, I don’t see such chaos as I did before, I see a bunch of preoccupied folks, but I know they have someone who cares deeply for them, on a personal basis. I know that God doesn’t only care for them and their families, their struggles and hurts, their egos and insecurities, He even thinks about their pets. Here I was, wondering how God could logistically keep juggling all these balls, and I am surprised to find that He even has their dogs and , wait, ahem cough . Okay, here goes, even their “cats” in mind (I know, silly huh) JK, really!!! All kidding aside, our God is amazing, the scope and depth of His wonder cannot EVER be measured, and I for one am really glad!

God Bless-Jim

Boundaries

I love the Christmas holidays, but there is a part of me that secretly (most of the time) cannot wait until they are over and life returns to normal again, and this year was no exception. Christmas for most is a busy time, and can run us to our ragged edge trying to keep up with the season. It seems as though there is always something extra to push us a little past our personal limit at times like these, something to test our strength.

This year, at the beginning of December, a Christian friend found himself needing to find a residence, and out of work. He had needs and he came to me for help. I did my best to help him personally, and to plug him into our church for what we call pastoral aid, and with everything combined his needs were met. He got a decent job within the first ten days of December, and was put up in an extended stay hotel through the end of the month by the church. A week before Christmas, he had found an apartment he could afford and made arrangements to move into it before the end of the year. All is well that ends well then, right?

Before I go any further, I feel it is important to lay down a bit of background, I have not known this man really as more than an acquaintance for more than a month or two. He is in his 40’s and has served on a team at church that I serve on for a while, that is how I met him, and he had asked me to pray for him a few times.  When he said he needed help, I did everything in my power to make it happen; after all he is my brother.

Once I helped him though, he began to text and call me constantly with other needs, money, bedding, household items he felt he needed to set up home. He would always put it in the context of “please pray for me that God will provide this $100.00 before 11am tomorrow so that my check won’t bounce”.  He would do the same with bedding, etc; ask that God would provide that and many other items. He would then begin to text me at all hours of the day and night, whether I was working at night or not. I would receive texts at two in the morning that began to sound depressed.

The first of the boundaries began to go up when my lovely daughter Lauren graduated from college a week and a half before Christmas. I had quit answering His texts for the most part at this point, it was my daughter’s graduation, and I needed to be devoted to my family this weekend, with “no distractions”. The evening after my daughter’s midday graduation, we were having a huge taco party at the house she shared with her roommates. My family, all my girls, their husbands, fiancé’s, grandmother, the girls mom and step dad, all their roommates, we were all there having a great old time making tacos and celebrating Laurens big day. At 7pm, I got a text from this man that could be deciphered as borderline suicidal.

I was 1500 miles away, but I texted  my pastor friend who oversees the team we both work on, explained the situation to him, and forwarded the text to him. He then called the man and dealt with him on a pastoral level. It tore my heart out, I didn’t know what to do, but in the end, I knew I didn’t have the training to deal with someone who had these types of issues, and I needed to turn it over to someone who did. My pastor then instructed me to tell him not to text more than twice a day, and not past 7pm, those were the boundaries he had set.

This brother “is” a brother and we must not forget that, but he does have issues that do require the setting of boundaries. Much of it actually became clear to me this past Friday night, I had been praying about this troubling situation for a month now. I was troubled by the prospect that I was becoming judgmental, and we all know that is not a good place to be in. So, I prayed for that good neighbor of judgment, discernment. I was at work, and the texts began to come in again, he needed this, he needed that, he had to have this, he needed a queen bed, he wanted pillows, bedding, sheets, etc. At this point I am asking myself, “why can’t he get those items like everyone else does, buy them”? But I didn’t say anything. Someone did give him a bed, so he was good there. Then, he sent me a text telling me he needed food.

This one bothered me a lot, because when you say that, it conjures up images of someone starving to death, digging through trash containers for something to eat. It was 3 weeks prior that he had told me he needed food and I went shopping for him and got him a pantry load of food (cases) because I went to Costco. I began to stress because I was at work, and couldn’t get away. After the trip back for the graduation combined with Christmas, things are tight and we really can’t afford a lot extra now, but I called my wife anyway and we both decided if he was out of food, we would work it out. I texted him, and asked if he was out of food, if he was hungry and told him that although I was working, I would arrange to have food delivered to him until we could get him some more groceries. He waited 15 minutes, then texted back that he was sorry, he didn’t mean to scare me, and he actually has plenty of food. My next thought was, then why are you asking?

From that moment on, everything became much clearer, even among our own number, there are those who will take advantage, in many ways, it is human nature. It doesn’t mean that we love them any less, it doesn’t mean we hold them with any less regard as brothers, it means we simply set boundaries. That is why praying for discernment is so important, because discernment is done in love, judgment is accusatory and many times angry. I spent a lot of time during the past month asking myself what Jesus would have done, and for a while, I drew a blank, because I wasn’t really looking. To know the answer to that question, you must know Jesus, and I do.

Jesus went about the world spreading His blessings far and wide, He would bless people as He met them then move on. He had many followers, but if someone had continually come to Him asking for something to be given every day I have no doubt Jesus would have told him to stop. Jesus was not a pushover, and He does not expect us to be either. I did feel the Spirit trying to guide me on this, but I was resisting because I didn’t want to be guilty of refusing someone who had a need. Maybe one of these days I will start listening to the Spirit all of the time without thinking twice, huh! God Bless-JFT

Angry Joe

Old Joe looked off toward the sunset and remembered that day, and what he was thinking when he was first given the orders. “What ever happened to asking for volunteers” he thought as his mind raced. I was sitting there, minding my own business and He just came up and told me what to do. I never had a chance to discuss it, explain that I do not have the skills to talk to those people, that they are a stubborn, stiff-necked good for nothing bunch who will “never” listen to anybody, much less me. I know it isn’t going to work, so why bother, he had thought. Joe had been shaken up, his stomach hurt as he heaved from nervousness again and again. Run, he thought, run.

Old Joe watched the sunset sadly, remembering how he had picked his way down the switchbacks into the port city, looking up frequently expecting to be hit by lightning, but being relieved to see the sky was still clear. He hurriedly had purchased passage on a ship to his destination, constantly looking over his shoulder but seeing nothing. As the ship left port and began sailing for its destination, Joe had gone below and crashed in a bunk. It had seemed as though he had just dropped off to sleep when he was awakened by several of the wide eyed crew, and he noticed the ship was bucking wildly. They asked Joe if he knew why the wind and the waves had come up so violently, had he angered his God? Joe knew the answer, and he admitted he had and told them that they had to throw him overboard, it was their only hope.

They didn’t want to, but in the end, they did it anyway and the wind and seas calmed immediately. As soon as Joe hit the water, he was terrified to see a huge mouth opening and taking him in. He knew he had angered God, and he knew God was punishing him now with a horrible death for his disobedience, and his last thought as he was sucked down the beasts throat was that he would obey if given another chance. It became completely dark as the creature dove again, and Joe went deeper still. He reached out with both hands grasping for purchase on anything, when he caught on a bony ridge and stopped his descent. Grasping the ridge with both hands and holding his breath, he pulled himself up some as the creature continued to try to swallow him down. Joe threw his feet on the other side of the creature’s gullet and wedged himself across the back of its throat. He then raised his head until he found an airspace, gasping for air in the absolute darkness.

The smell was terrible, and his skin burned from the digestive acids the beast had in its stomach, but it was breathable for a while at least, until it runs out he thought. Joes head would hurt when the fish would go deep, and he would work his jaw back and forth trying to stop the pain, and sometimes it helped, sometimes it didn’t. When he would get weak and sleepy and about to run out of air, the fish would surface and take on air. Joe could not see and lost all track of time and space, he had no idea how long he had been in the fish but he was getting weaker by the hour. The beast would swallow anything, and seaweed was constantly getting wrapped around him, not to mention dead fish and whatever else it swallowed. Joe had cried out to God, and told God he would make good on what God had requested, he would do as he was told. The fish puked him out onto the beach, it had been three days.

Nineveh was huge, but he did as he was told, and to his surprise, “everyone listened”, was convicted and came back to God. Then God showed mercy on them, and did not bring destruction on them, and that made Joe mad. Three days in a fish he had spent, sucking air from the roof of its throat, although God “had” spared him, he had to go through a lot more than they did to get a break, and he was ticked about it. They should have had to suffer a little too, but no, God was a softy with them, why did he even have to come here then? But God had talked to him about that too, and his answer to God was that he would rather be dead.

The last of the sun dropped below the sea as old Joe watched it disappear, and he remembered the last time God had spoken to him. It was after God had talked to him about being angry, Joe had gone off and sat by himself, stewing in his anger. God had made a leafy plant to provide him shade that first day, but the second day, the plant died, and Joe got mad at the plant. God then came and talked to him one more time, and once again, Joe told God he wished he was dead. God still continued to talk to him, explaining things to Joe, but that was the last time. A tear rolled down old Joe’s heavily lined cheek as he thought about that last exchange with God, oh how he wished he had one more chance to talk to Him again, how different the conversation would be. Old Joe is grateful though, because he is counting on the same mercy he saw extended to those in the city of Nineveh, he is counting on God forgiving all of that anger, gone for many years now. As the last of the sunset dies out over the ocean, Joe leans back, puts his feet up closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep, awaiting his next chance to talk to God, he wants to say he is sorry.

God Bless-JFT

This story is fiction, inspired by the book of Jonah

A Christmas Story

Two young boys, twelvish or so from down the street were hiding from their brother, and asked if they could hang out with me in my garage as I cleaned it, so I gladly obliged. I know their dad, and we have a friendly relationship, so the boys set out asking about this and that. We talked about hunting, as they hunt with their dad, and they knew I hunt also. I asked how their Christmas was, and they told me that they don’t celebrate it. They said it very matter of factly, and I noted that they weren’t uncomfortable, as though they felt they were missing out or anything. I know their folks are very religious and conservative, and that the women all wear skirts always, but that is all I know. For some reason, I thought about this a lot this past week, Christmas and its meaning.

I have lights up all over my house, deer in the yard, snowman on the hill and an angel on top of the tree. There is a wreath on the door, and a garland around it, not to mention all of the other seasonal decorations that go with this season that we drag out every year. I must confess, even at my age, I love to sit in the dark house with the tree lit up and just rest on the couch with only the glow of the tree. It summons up memories of warmth and happiness for me, times of family gathered around, smiling and having a good time.

I can sit there and even let my mind go back even farther to a time when I was in a small bedroom down a small hallway, lying awake in the middle of the night awaiting the sound of hoofs on the roof. Not for a moment doubting that Saint Nick would come, but knowing and fearing that his milk would get too warm before he got there, sitting out on the counter all night, and that he would not like it. Then I heard it, the hoof beats on the roof as my eyes flew wide open and my heart beat faster, never once suspecting it was two goofy teenaged brothers on the roof running above my room for effect. I threw my curtains wide looking for some sign that the reindeer train was on the roof, something, a shadow or something but was only greeted with darkness.

I sneaked to the door and edged it open, only to be greeted by my smiling father who whispered “I think he is coming, you better get back in bed or he will leave you coal”. I turned and jumped under the covers, not about to blow everything because of my curiosity, although it sure would be nice to just see him once. I lay there, and thought I would never go to sleep as my mind raced and I heard noises coming from the living room, as Santa and his helpers filled our stockings with candy and brought a present from the North Pole. Somewhere along the line though, sleep did come, and I drifted off to dreamland until early the next morning.

I don’t know whether I woke my brothers up, or they woke me up, but I still remember going into the living room. It was still dark outside, and the reds and greens of the Christmas lights and tree bulbs seem especially bright in my memory. There, under the tree, Santa had left me a beautiful brand new bright red tricycle with cool streamers from the hand grips. I remember how happy I was with that, how amazed I was that he had carried that all the way from the North Pole. That was about 44 years ago, and it is still vivid in my memory although I don’t know how.

I look on the tree, and I see an ornament that I made for Ivy, my youngest. She saw a picture one day in a magazine of a cat that looked like a cat we used to have named Niles, and she wanted me to cut the picture out and make an ornament out of it, so we did. It has hung on the tree every year since, and she was about four then, now she is sixteen. Looking at the tree, every ornament has a story, our first year as a new family, a new ornament for each year, an ornament for each of the girls; it is hard not to get sentimental when looking at them all because each one represents a memory. I think families being close and loving one another is good, God approves of that.

I have to wonder how Jesus feels about all the hoopla we put on about Christmas though. When He came, there was no place for His mother Mary to rest and give birth, so she had to go to a barn, a stable. Jesus was born on a pile of hay in a stable, in the most humble of circumstances possible. He could have come in with a bang if He had wanted, yet He chose humility. 

This Christmas was very busy and challenging for me as I am sure it was for all of you. I have to ask myself something though, although I have very fond memories of Saint Nick and his reindeer, how did that ever get associated with the birth of Christ? I honestly have no idea. I love the image and idea of Jolly old Saint Nick, but I have no clue about where any of that even came from. It was a legend I was raised with about misfit toys and a reindeer with a red nose narrated by Burl Ives, or the Grinch, it just “was”. 

To me, it is almost as though the legendary yet commercial Christmas gets bigger and bigger every year, and it strives to overpower the true meaning of Christmas, that a Savior is born. This Christmas, one of my brothers at church became homeless, and came to me for help. I helped him, but I didn’t have everything I needed to keep the man afloat. We were able to get him help through the church, and he is okay now, but I struggled with my feelings toward the more commercial Christmas afterward.

I hope that this Christmas season was the very best of times for you, and that you made memories that will last for a lifetime. I hope as you celebrate Christmases in years to come that you will always remember to place Christ first and foremost in all that you do. God Bless-JFT

Living Forever

My friend Mel and I wedged ourselves in the crack that ran up the cliff face (known as a chimney in climberspeak) and scooted upward using our hands, feet and backsides. Never once on the way up did I even think about how we would get down, I just focused or the task at hand and went up. When we finally topped out, we stood on a small ledge maybe ten feet across and peered over the lip of a 300 foot cliff known as the face wall on the mountain we were on. Mel looked around for an anchor point for our two 300 foot coils of rope, and there was a single Palo-Verde tree with a trunk about four inches in diameter. Mel immediately began to anchor to the small tree without thinking twice. We didn’t have formal harnesses, but a nylon strap that if you tied correctly, should work just fine, so I began to put on my harness/strap and get ready for the descent. I clipped into the rope, then went over the edge, and was at that point, past the point of no return, the first 150 feet I ran side to side on the wall, hooting like an owl, jumping and having a blast, then the wall fell away and the last 150 feet were freefall, rope only. I wasn’t worried about anything, I was eighteen, I was fearless, and I was going to live forever.

As time went on, I always still enjoyed the rush of excitement. After I became a daddy, things were a little bit different, I finally realized I wasn’t going to live forever, so I bought better equipment. I wasn’t willing to give up breathing that rare air, but I could manage the risk I reasoned if I had the good stuff. But I secretly scoffed at the boy who once thought he would live forever, what was he thinking? It was important to live life to it’s fullest, but to know that we all have a number, and that one day it will be up. Teenagers are famous for their “I’ll live forever” attitude, and we are famous as parents for being annoyed with them for it. But what if, just what if, they are the ones who are right. Think about it, what if we really “do” live forever?

When we die, do we go into a dark void of nothingness where we wait for the rest of the world to fall apart, or do we just move right along? In John 14: 1-3 Jesus tells His disciples  “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.  My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

So, no purgatory, no holding cells or sending angels to do pick-ups, but none other than Jesus Himself to come. Now, this was His disciples he was speaking to, not everyone else. But scriptures point to the fact that He treats all of us the same, so that would mean that pretty much about the time you code and they are placing the paddles on your chest (sorry), Jesus is going to be tapping you on the shoulder. This doesn’t seem very much like death to me, I have always thought of death as morticians, plots, souls in limbo tapping their toes, waiting for the trumpet. All of the stories of those who have died on the table and then been brought back mirror exactly what Jesus promised in John 14, except that they are told it is not their time, and they are sent back. I believe that is something done purposeful to let people know a little of what to expect.

So, if that’s what happens, then we are in fact wrong, and the teenagers have been right all along, we do live forever. Death is not a stopping point, but it is merely like traveling across country and having to stop in a strange town and switch planes. There is no stopping point, our lives are continuous into eternity except for that small adjustment when we shed the flesh, get our forever body, and our eternal assignment. So think about it folks, what if you just completely shed your fear of death altogether and realize that you are already living in eternity, we will in fact live forever, we “are” in fact living forever.

I have ventured into many dark caves in my life, some a hundred feet under the ocean, I have met the unknown, and I have the fear of not knowing what lies around the bend. I have wondered if I would meet a shark, a bear, or one of those freaks I have seen in one too many scary movies I have watched in my life, I know what it is to fear the unknown. But one thing I know, death is one thing Jesus went out of His way to make sure was “not” an unknown to us, He layed it out, and I have nothing to fear from that next step in life, because it is not an end, but merely another stage in the journey. Which brings us to the big question, do we live forever, and to that I shout “YES” we do, there is no end, we are in our eternity. I know God, I know Christ, the Holy Spirit, and I want to tell everyone I can about them as long as I have breath to do so. What will you do with your forever? God Bless-Jim